i be naija

We’ve all received that e-mail, right? The one that urges us to “forward this to 20 people” in return for anything from “a laptop from Dell” to “a miracle in 7 days” to an outright “surprise right after you click ‘Send’”. Who hasn’t seen the one that says Bill Gates will send you a check for $1 for every single person you forward the message to?

I just received one such e-mail today, and couldn’t help but shake my head at the gullibility and outright folly of the universe. The e-mail appeared to have traversed a good portion of the Internet, for it appeared to have been forwarded many a time. Scrolling through the multitude of e-mail headers (To, From, CC, etc.), revealing the e-mail’s traversal path, to the bottom of the message, brought me upon:

Hi everyone,

The Ericsson Company is distributing free computer Lap-tops in an attempt to match Nokia that has already done so.  Ericsson hopes to increase its popularity this way. For this reason, they are giving away the new WAP laptops. All you need to do to qualify is to send this mail to 8 people you know. Within 2 weeks, you will receive EricssonT18. But if you can send it to 20 people or more, you will receive Ericsson  R320.

Make sure to send a copy to : anna.swelung@ericsson.com

The scheme here should be fairly obvious: you send this to 8 people, cc’ing Ms. “Anna Swelung” at “Ericsson.com”. Depending on how gullible your 8 friends are (let’s say that an arbitrary 50% of them are in fact gullible and forward the message to 8 of their own friends), Ms. Swelung now has your e-mail address, plus the 8 e-mail addresses you forwarded to her (via cc), plus the 8 e-mail addresses that 4 of your recipients sent to her… (and this doesn’t even count the e-mail addresses of the folks upstream to you; i.e., the folks that sent you the message in the first place).

Now, let’s say you and your friends are really, really gullible, and decide to up the ante by forwarding the e-mail to not 8, but 20 of your buddies… Think about how quickly (read: exponential growth) Ms. Swelung’s e-mail box will fill-up with the e-mail addresses of folks thirsty for a free laptop computer… Ah, thousands, if not millions of e-mail addresses, harvested, and ready to be spammed with Viagra, Cialis, and HornyAsianVixens.com come-ons.

Out of curiously, I copied ericsson.com from the contact’s e-mail address, and pasted it into my browser’s address window (which resolved it to www.ericsson.com). The site I came to appeared to have no more than a slightly subliminal connection to the telephone company at www.sonyericsson.com.

A couple thoughts:

1. If it’s too good to be true, it probably is.
2. By extention, if it doesn’t make sense, it probably, well, doesn’t. (A company gives away its high-cost/high-margin product, on a large (Internet-wide) scale—to “increase its popularity” and match its competition? How sustainable is that?!)
3. And, finally, there is no such thing as a free lunch; in fact, there is no such thing as ‘Free’. Everything has a price.

I really do hope that those little programs that scour the Internet in search of e-mail addresses, ALL grab Anna Swelung’s e-mail address from this page, and that they all collectively spam her to no end. That would give her a taste of her own medicine.

Postscript:

The clincher: neither Ericsson T18 nor Ericsson  R320 (pictured) are laptop computers; both are cellular phones.

And, both are discontinued models.

Here’s Sony’s billboard ad (in the Netherlands, at least) for its Playstation® Portable, depicting a Caucasian woman gripping the jaw of a woman of African descent, in an undeniably rude and condescending manner.

According to Business 2.0 (Vol.8, No. 1; Jan./Feb. ‘07, p. 105), Sony initially defended the ad, saying it was meant to “highlight the whiteness of the new model,” though they later apologized (and, I hope, pulled the ad).

Let’s not waste our time analyzing the blatant racist undertone of the ad, but suffice it to say that I hereby resolve not to purchase a Sony product, until, and unless, I am convinced of a reversal of this unfortunate, unfortunate corporate mindset.  I really do not see myself buying a Sony product—PlayStation, Walkman, TV, DVD player, camera, headphones, computer, et cetera—anytime soon…

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(Incidentally, I have a similar standing resolution for Tommy Hilfiger, who might have hinted that his designer jeans were never intended to be worn by black folks.)

To be honest, this blog is long overdue. Long before blogging became the in-thing, one of my most enjoyable pasttimes was making entries to what I will consider my journal. Now, understand, I did not own a brown, leather-bound book that I called a journal… My journal was, in fact, any blank sheet of paper or Microsoft Word document on which I expressed my thoughts, unfettered.

At some point in the late 1990s/early 2000s, again, before blogging became the fashion of the day, I compiled some of my more creative writing into a Web site, written in plain HTML, with none of the intricate complexities that underlie WordPress or Blogger. My site at that point was simply a collection of .htm files, sorted into such interesting categories as Rants, Journals, Philosophies,  Poetry, and Tales from Comlag. I might yet, to use the systems integration term, migrate those pieces from there to here.

Anyway, my hope is for this blog to be a sustained project… That I am never quite so bogged-down by the demands of Metropolitan life that I renege on my commitment to keep the blog alive…

To be honest with you, I am doing this for me as much as for you. For me, it will be a way to recount my daily and weekly experiences (which, you must understand, has a certain therapeutic effect)… For you, it could be a way to pass a few boring Saturday afternoons, right before the big night on the town, or it might serve as a brief reprieve from a hectic day at work.

 So, you see, it’s a win-win proposition. Return here often, will you?